A New Year’s Letter For All My Fans

Hey Kiddies!

I know, I know what you’re all thinking.  Did Mr. Voice just roll off the edge of a cliff with his big old roller skate?  I will confess that I’ve had a lot of work to do lately, so I apologize for the lack of updates.  It’s hard to believe that it’s already a new year!

So at the dawn of 2005, I’d like to reconfirm myself to my cause and encourage those of you out there to join me in my efforts to rid the world of sexual sin.  Truly, this is an area where many in this world take a lax approach.  NOW is the time to encourage our friends to put their energies towards more positive activities, such as roller skating.  It’s a hard winter ahead though, since I have to spend my time in the rink instead of outside, since the ice, slush, and snow makes it more difficult for my transportation.

So kiddies, I encourage you to try a new non-sexually related hobby this year.  There’s a lot of healthy activities you can do.  Besides roller skating, there is ice skating, Rollerblading, and helping me with my campaign!

Keep those questions coming!  I’m open to answering anything that might be weighing on your mind.

Purely Yours,

The Voice

Rolling Out Sexual Sin Throughout the U.S. and Beyond

Back From Vacation

You might be wondering what has happened to the Voice.  Well, kiddies, Mr. Voice took himself a little vacation to the National Rollerskating Convention in Missouri for tips, to see what’s new in the world of my favorite sport, and meet other skating aficionados.  And would you believe that I rolled there and back?  All along the way, I spoke my message of purity and righteousness while crashing my skate into anything that offended me.  And since I find much of what is advertised in society offensive, I was doing a lot of crashing with this big old skate.  But I am back in town, and my message rings truer than ever.

I also took a little divergence from my usual summer plans to pay a visit to my dear friend LeXiNa LeXiNgToN over on Christmas Island.  I don’t get a chance to chill with her very often, so it was good to see her.  I had to take the ferry though since my skate won’t do much good on water.  There was a lake of Kool Aid around the island.  I hope that they start brushing their teeth there, since all there is to eat in that place is CANDY! 

Currently Playing Ocean Surf: Nature's Relaxing Sounds By Various Artists see related

Do away with the Emporium of Eroticism!

I heard from my friend alli8273 that Woodfield Mall is home to the lingerie selling Frederick's of Hollywood, which is an Eporium of Eroticism.  I have plans to crash my magical roller skate into the glass of that joint to try to shut it down.  Who is with me?  I want to launch a brigade to rid the world of such corruption.  Join me to support a society of fellow abstainers. 

Is abstinence YOUR way of life?

Currently Reading Every Young Man's Battle Workbook: Practical Help in the Fight for Sexual Purity (Everyman: Sexual Integrity) By Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey see related

Friday Q and A

Kiddies, I have been roller skating up a storm these last few days.  It has been perfect weather to skate around town.  I am becoming a big advocate of roller skating.  If it rains this weekend, move your 4^th of July plans inside and go skatin’! 

I had a fan write in yesterday: L. Fro wants to know what my freakin’ problem is!

Well Ms. Fro, I don’t have a problem at all.  In fact, ever since I rid myself of my body, my life has improved.  You see, when getting rid of the parts that tempt and cause you to sin, you immediately experience a new freedom.  Granted, some basic functions like walking, playing the flute well, and unicycling are not the easiest without feet, hands, or any body part below the neck.  But the sacrifices are worth the new abundance of life I have come to know.  My cause is simple: encourage people to live the abundant life, and that may mean getting rid of things we think are desirable.  Is that a good enough answer for you?

Keep those questions coming kiddies; I love writing to you!

Currently Reading The War Within: Gaining Victory in the Battle for Sexual Purity By Robert Daniels see related

More Q and A

Hey, kiddies, how’s everyone doing today?  It’s a beautiful summer day.  Just perfect weather for cruising around in my roller skate. 

Anyways, enough dallying around.  It’s time to answer a few questions here, as I have 2 that have recently flooded in.

First, hongkongtimmy asked if there are plans for a Mrs. Voice.  The answer is no.  Since all of my body below the head has been removed and I lack all reproductive capabilities, there would be no point in becoming wed.  Also, I have taken a lifetime vow from sexual activity, choosing abstinence as my way of life.  Now granted, this is not the path for everyone, but I should hope that my lifestyle would serve as an example to others.  Kind of like Paul of New Testament fame, I have decided not to get married for the sake of my cause. 

Next question came to me from alli8273.  She writes, “I was invited to my cousin’s bachelorette party at a place called the Baton Club and do not wish to attend.  How do I gracefully decline the invitiation?”

Well alli8273, I applaud your decision not to attend this immoral presentation.  I doubt that a place called the Baton Club will feature a high school girl twirling a baton around, if you know what I mean.  I’m going to add the Baton Club to my list of places to set fire to, so your worries could be over!  Actually, my list of “arson sites” is growing, so I doubt that it will be destroyed before your cousin’s party.  (Just kidding, I wouldn’t really set fire to such establishments, although part of me would really like to!)  I think that you should inform your cousin that you will not be in attendance, and if her or others pressure you, firmly state that you have made the decision not to attend and do not need to offer more information.  This is not lying but assertively professes your decision to avoid this activity.  If you’d like to join my campaign to rid the world of “Baton Clubs,” just write me back.

There you have it, kids, 2 answers to 2 questions.  What else do you have to ask The Voice today?